Svadilfari

I just want to remind everyone that Svadilfari is the horse that fucked Loki.

You're welcome.

Heathens

So, the rumor mill is churning and it seems Howrse is finally preparing a set of Zodiac divines. Twelve horses, one for each sign, with the now defunct sign Ophiuchus being granted to those who complete the set.

All in all, it's safe to say this divine set will be met with approval. It's been something the community has been asking for for quite some time now.

Except, there already seems to be a problem...

It hasn't been 24 hours since whisper of this got out, and there's already crotchety bigots complaining about the inappropriateness of teaching the Zodiac to children. Occult references and all that.

And I'm just sitting there thinking how much some players need to get laid. Maybe take a Xanax, have some wine. Move along into the 21st century. Something. Anything.

Or you know.. There's always this.

Maybe You're the Problem

If you need to end all your posts apologizing for your "bluntness" or "rudeness" and explaining that it wasn't intentional, maybe you should stop being such a tactless bitch.

Just a thought. Didn't mean to sound rude or anything.

Dorky Confession...

Crossbred Purebreed Spanish Horses seriously amuse me. I know it's stupid, but I can't help but internally giggle when I see them.

It's so stupid.

The Battle Cry of the Computer Illiterate

I know you've heard it before.

You're experiencing site issues. Maybe Howrse is loading slowly but other websites are behaving normally. Maybe the Howrse team botched another promotion and it isn't working as it should. Maybe your competitions are full but will not run. Maybe an auction you won is taking a very long time to finalize. You're fairly certain it isn't a computer problem. So you venture to the message boards and ask what's going on. Within seconds, someone responds with "clear your cache and cookies".

This, my friends, is nearly always bad advice. Clearing your cache and cookies deletes your Temporary Internet files - things like multimedia content that allows your browser to load your favorite websites more quickly. Cookies, on the other hand, save information from your browser such as login information or browsing preferences.

So what does all this have to do with a legitimate site problem? Absolutely nothing.

Generally, I advise players not jump to clearing their cache and cookies at the first sign of a problem. "Clear your cache and cookies" is pretty much the battle cry of the computer illiterate. Unless you're having problems with something like your login, or loading page content, don't be so quick to clear your cache and cookies. It's almost always bad advice from stupid people looking to inflate their post counts.

Got Drama?

Ever notice how the people who talk the most about wanting to play a drama free game are usually the ones most prone to irrational behavior and childish outbursts?

When I see someone with a rant on their presentation about how they don't want to get involved in drama, I quickly make a mental note to have no future dealings with them if I can help it. Because those people are always the craziest, most egotistical hypocrites out there.

Rest well, friend

That feel when one of your fillers dies of old age.

Pro Tip #9: Saving Time on Pass Horses

It takes months to work a pass horse from birth to death.

Be on the look out for horses who are already aged, but not enough to command a high price. It will save you lots of time.



Looking for more Pro Tips?

Pro Tip #8: Farming Ageing Points

When farming Ageing Points, consider adding lessons to your routine. Lessons will help to offset the cost of food and board and the added action will hardly set you back.



Looking for more Pro Tips?

Pro Tip #7: Declutter your Presentation

It's a good idea to keep your presentation neat and tidy.

You cannot expect other players to search out your sales terms and contact guidelines if they need to spend five minutes wading through reposted gifs and quiz results. Keep your page clean.


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Pro Tip #6: Returning Help

I often see players get angry when others do not return help or lottery tickets during promotions.

I've found that a good way to minimize the chance of this happening is to routinely prune your friends list. Remove anyone who has not signed on within the last month or so. Keep only active players on your friends list and you should have an easier time getting the help you need.

Looking for more Pro Tips?

Pro Tip #5: Pricing and BMIs

A common misconception among new players is that BMIs have a direct Pass value. Unless you are purchasing them directly from the Black Market, they do not. When selling a horse, one cannot simply add up the original value of its BMIs in order to determine a price.

Once a BMI is placed on a horse its value is altered. The only way to correctly price a horse is to check the sales for similar offerings. Price according to what is already available - not according to the horse's equipment or bonuses.

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Pro Tip #4: Time Your Trades

Pro Tip #4

If you happen to get your hands on random chance BMIs (such as the Horn of Plenty or the Titan's Challenge), consider hanging onto them until a Divine is being offered in the item. The value of these items skyrocket during such promotions. As a result, you can get some pretty amazing deals if you choose to trade them then.

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Pro Tip #3: Divine Kitty

Pro Tip #3

If you're lucky enough to own Divine horses, entering them into Divine competitions can be a great way to earn some extra Equus. Divine kitty is considerably higher than that which is offered in regular competitions. Even if you don't win, the prize money is generally still worth your time.



Agree or not? How much do you tend to make comping your Divines?

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Pro Tip #2: Making the Most of a Low Equus Reserve

Pro Tip #2

When your reserve is running low, consider breeding your excess mares to your best available stud. You'll save a bundle on vet fees and the resulting foals can be sold for a fair profit - even if you're selling them on the cheap.

Looking for more Pro Tips?

Pro Tip #1: Interactive Divines

Pro Tip #1

Always remember to take a moment to interact with the Divines Xanthos, Frost and Topaz. If you play on International, don't forget Archimedes! It only takes a minute and you could get lucky and score some free BMIs or Diamonds.


Have you had much luck with these interactive Divines?

Looking for more Pro Tips?

Irrational Pet Peeves

I really hate when people maximize the display and change the orientation of standard horses. Like, I get why you'd want to do this for Helio's Ray combos, but why bother with anything else?

I hate buying a horse and seeing that the last owner has it flipped around and maxed out. Ughh.

Horse Haven

Rupunzel, lay off the drugs. Spirit is Dreamworks, not Disney.

Sales Peeves

I have a lot of Howrse related pet peeves. Unsurprisingly, many are related to the sales. Let's talk about a few of them.

1. Overweight or underweight horses in sales

For real. This game is disgustingly easy. You are told exactly how much to feed your horse and you still cannot manage it? I shudder to think how incompetent you are.

2. Names suggesting the horse will be "abandoned", "killed", "slaughtered" or left to "rot" in the Safe Haven.

Safe Haven. Hm. Let's take a look at those words.

Safe
adjective
1. secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk

Haven
noun
2. a harbor or port
1. any place of shelter and safety; refuge; asylum.

Yup. Sure sounds like a dismal place. Poor horses.

Not only are names like this against the rules, they're also stupid - which makes you stupid for using them.

3. Low level geldings.

Why are you even bothering? You've got nothing worth protecting and no one is going to bother to skill this crap.

4. Foals with no attempt made at their foal games.

There's a reason your horses all suck. It's because you're lazy.

5. Asking passes for foals with GP below what is available from public studs. Extra loser points if they also have an unblupped mother.

Cute, but no thanks.

6. Botched skillers whose owners are trying to recoup their investment.

It's not my fault you can't manage to properly skill a horse. Don't go asking standard market value for a horse you stupidly tried to skill on 42e lessons.

7. Exorbitant prices for crappy BMIs.

I don't care if you horse has a Poseidon Pack - it's still low skilled, unblupped and ultimately worthless.

Don't Let it Go to Your Head

I've seen a lot of second rate artists offering free line-art directly on Howrse now.

Don't get me wrong, this is a generous thing to do and a lot of the art isn't half bad (it isn't great either) but that's not what gets me. What I dislike is how high-and-mighty and nitpicky these people are right off the bat.

I offer stock photos myself. I get it.

If you've got a list of a dozen things people are not allowed to do you're probably not going to like seeing what people create with your lines. Serious stock providers and artists offering line-art do not get into it to sit there and micromanage each and every piece resulting from their original work. You're going to give yourself an aneurysm doing that. Knock it off.

Also, pro tip. Your art isn't that great anyway. Why do you think people are so quick to edit it? Just saying.

Ugh, my eyes!

Every time you format your presentation like this

God kills a puppy.

PLEASE THINK OF THE PUPPIES

Filling Etiquette and Expectations

I've talked about unspoken etiquette rules in the past. Today I'd like to discuss some of the finer points of filling. 

Filling a competition, as you all know, is when lower skilled horses are entered alongside a horse you are actively trying to BLUP. These fillers close the race out and get you your wins more quickly. Fillers also lessen the likelihood that your horse will lose to another, more skilled, entrant. To completely fill a competition you'll need the help of friends/teammates, or access to other accounts via Account Sharing. 

Many players agree that it is poor etiquette to enter a competition that another player is actively filling. By actively filling, I mean that the player is fully closing out the competitions in a timely manner. Jumping in with a better horse when the competition is awaiting one last entrant is frowned upon.

Of course, Howrse itself has no rules to govern this. Technically, you may piggyback off of fillers belonging to another player. Nothing can stop you. It is a dirt-bag thing to do but that's your choice to make. Just don't be surprised when you find yourself getting smashed in the future.

Just remember that etiquette always goes both ways. Too often I see players get their panties in a bunch and claiming someone is "stomping" them or "hijacking" their fills even though they are not making the effort to fully close their competitions.

You cannot leave a competition sitting at 3/5 or 4/5 and expect someone else to finish filling it for you. Complaining when someone beats you in this instance is hypocritical because, of course, you wouldn't get mad at a player who entered your partially filled competition and lost. If a competition has been sitting open for a while it's absolutely fair game.

Don't hijack competitions that are in the process of closing, but don't expect others to do your work for you. 

How Not to Name a Divine

The upcoming Rainbow Divines are pretty cool, aren't they?

But you know what isn't cool? The names some players are suggesting for them. Ugh. This perfectly illustrates the reason Howrse rarely accepts user submissions.

While we're on the topic of bad names, I want to offer my own.

Red: Lesion
Orange: Salmon
Yellow: Urine
Green: Phlegm
Blue: Asphyxia
Purple: Bruise

Like them? Got any others?

Isis ≠ ISIS

Howrse released a new Divine today. Isis was created by the players who attended the World Equestrian Games with the Howrse team in 2014.

She's the counterpart to Osiris, a Divine horse released in October of 2013. She's based on the Egyptian goddess of the same name. Isis was a powerful matron associated with fertility and magic.

And, according to some Howrse players, she's also an Islamic terrorist out to corrupt our youth.

Way to go Howrse community. Your bigotry and ignorance has yet again surprised me.

You're not fooling anyone, Isis. Terrorist scum!

Because You Fail at Statistics

Can we talk about the word "random"?

Random, according to Dictionary.com, is defined as follows

adjective

1. proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern:

the random selection of numbers.

2. Statistics. of or characterizing a process of selection in which each item of a set has an equal probability of being chosen.

Got that?

That is why it pisses me off so damn much when Howrse players say many game operations are random. For example?

The color of a horses's coat is not random. The odds are clearly given on each breed's respective page! NOT RANDOM.

Finding an Ageing Point upon waking a horse? NOT RANDOM. The chance is 1 in 6. I calculated this. You're welcome.

Finding a Divine in a Horn of Plenty or Titan's Challenge during a promotion. Again, NOT RANDOM. While the odds are never given, the chance is absolutely 100% not random.

There are predefined parameters the game uses to control these things. Just because you do not know the odds does not mean they are random. Very few things on Howrse are truly random.

Keep Your Panties On, Girls

So, my brother plays this game. He's fourteen.

He's not a super serious elite player but he's pretty good. He likes collecting trophies and breeding competitive crosses. He's not a daily player but he's on fairly often. He got interested in the game from watching me play.

I know of other young males that are playing and I seriously think that's awesome but there is one thing that bothers me... The amount of weird, unprovoked private messages he gets from little girls. He and I have a good laugh over them before he generally blocks the sender. But, for real, it's creepy.

What the hell, kids? Stop objectifying boys on Howrse.

STOP SIGNING YOUR POSTS

Why the hell do some people feel the need to sign their posts? Are they afraid we might not know who is posting? Like they haven't noticed their names are automatically displayed?

Furthermore, are they so proud of their post that they feel the need to sign it, as if they've just toiled over a literary masterpiece that is undoubtedly on track to become a classic?

For real though. WHY? POR QUÉ?!

Habits of Successful Players

I'm sure you've seen it. Players who complain that the only way to be successful is to buy your way to the top.

I will not deny that those who have access to Passes are at an advantage but there are numerous things that factor into whether or not someone is a successful player. Passes are only part of it and, arguably, they're a very small part.

So, what makes a player successful?

Willingness to learn

We all come into this game knowing next to nothing. Whether or not you're willing to take the time to learn the basics is a huge determining factor in how far you'll ultimate go.

There's a lot to learn and it can be daunting. Blupping, foal games, proper feeding requirements, how to make Equus, how to manage an equestrian center. Take it slow. Read the game guide. Do the tutorial. Ask meaningful questions.

Learn to play properly and you'll see immediate results. You'll have healthy horses who are at the top of their game, a working equestrian center to use while blupping, and plenty of Equus to spend as you see fit.

Work ethic

Got horses to blup? Pastures to shuffle in your equestrian center? Aging Points to gather? Do it.

Successful players work hard. Some players have friends to help them manage their game but ultimately whether or not something gets done is up to the account owner.

You can't have it all unless you're willing to work for it.

Time management

Tackle the important stuff first. If your team needs you to work a horse you should probably do that before farming your Aging Points or hitting up the forums for a posting binge.

It's up to you, but you must weigh your responsibilities and goals. Do those which are most important first.

Ability to budget

This is a big one.

I see so many players throw fits when promotions roll around by complaining that they can't afford anything. Here's the thing though – if you saved your Passes and Black Market Items and used them only during promotions you could afford to take part.

Save your Passes. Save your Horns of Plenty. Save your Titan's Challenges. Use your weekly trades to acquire items you know you'll need in the future. Show some restraint.

Successful players play smart and so should you.

Following the rules

This sounds silly, right? But hear me out. Howrse is a community based game. You cannot get far if you're unwilling to abide by the rules.

What do I mean by this?

The way I see it, there are two sets of rules in the game – the mandatory terms of service and the community determined rules of etiquette and engagement. Let's discuss the second set.

No one likes a cheater. No one likes a beggar. No one likes a player who lies to get ahead. Rule of thumb? Do to others as you would have them do to you. If it would piss you off, don't do it to someone else.

Don't be surprised when your bad behavior comes back to bite you in the ass. It isn't worth blowing your reputation for a quick boost of instant gratification.

What do you think? Did I miss any important points? What do you think struggling players could stand to improve upon?

Huh?

When I get a private message and I have no idea what the sender is talking about...

Prehistoric Divines

Yea, so I'm going to need Howrse to continue the Prehistoric Divine series so that I can add this monster to my stable.

Anisodan - source

All in favor?

Inhabitants of the Creative Space

The Creative Space is often a dark place. Let's explore the cliques, shall we?

The understated – These artists tend to be quite talented, but their mild (and often agreeable) personalities fail to bring them much praise. Regardless, for what they lack in fanfare they more than make up for in ability. Their quiet confidence speaks volumes to their talent and maturity.

The complainer – You know them. They've always got something to whine about and it's almost almost always something that everyone else is also dealing this – thus making it a none issue. Let it be known that some of these bitchers are quite talented. However, when half your posts are complaining about the Creation Space terms of use or how much of a travesty it is that your coat didn't make it in last month the quality of your work kind of diminishes.

The unnecessary critiquer – “Hey, ummm... You're going to draw the eye, right?” Nope. I was obviously going to just leave that part out.

The off-topicer – “Hey guys, want to see the wolf/dragon/cat/original character I drew?” No. We don't. Extra points if these off-topic exploits are angst-ridden and/or point you to an off-site art gallery.

The WIP hoarder - “Hey, you know that coat you all told me you liked? I scrapped it. Check out this Gypsy Vanner I'm doing now! And this pony! I might try drawing the horse I lease too!”

The over-sharer – We get it. You're working on a new coat but please understand you do not need to update us with every single brush stroke you do.

The enforcer – These guys travel in packs and hunt for any uncredited reference or lineart they can find. Hey, I get it, respecting copyright and intellectual property is a big deal, but we don't need to converge en masse or jump to nasty conclusions when a civil discussion will suffice. If there's a problem, escalate it to the moderator and stop throwing your imagined weight around.

The advertiser – This artist only shows up when the voting period is open. They're just here to garner votes and clog up the forum. Extra points if they post on every page and across multiple servers.

The embellisher – They drew a decent coat once. They've now submitted it in over ten different colors.

Thoughts? Did I miss anyone?

I'M QUITTING

A major update! Queue the whining and threats of quitting.


I hate the Equestrian Center changes, I'm quitting!
Just like I threatened to quit after the last Equestrian Center changes!
And like I threatened to quit after the addition of the Great Challenge!
And when you added the VIP accounts!
And when you changed the way the horses looked!
And when you changed the site layout!
And when you added unicorns!



For real, though. Shut up. If you're going to bitch at least do it with some conviction.

Cha-Ching

These Titan's Challenge promotion periods are always fun. I get to creep on people's wins and stalk the mega high-rollers.

Yes, this is a game about pretend ponies and it's really none of my business.... but damn, some of you have got a gambling problem. And the funny thing is that it's rarely the top ranking players. I just don't get why some people feel the need to spend so much on a game they're not even good at.

On Prestige and Being a Dirtbag

I know it's exciting. You have your cute little divines who are just coming into their own and you so desperately want them to start winning rosettes.

But here's the thing, entering your shitty divine into a rosette competition that it can just barely see because you've only gotten one stat trained up is a dick move. It brings down prestige.

Don't do it. For every person I see doing this in my competitions I do it back, and I throw in my worst skillers with massive health penalties. I may not be able to stop you but I will kick your competitions in the proverbial balls.

Suck it.