The game isn't conspiring against you

Guys, let's talk about basic statistics. I've seen so much nonsense lately that I think this should be addressed.

A little bit of background. I've recently seen claims that Howrse utilizes a predictive algorithm for the purpose of screwing people over. The example given was that when you're trying to breed a male foal you're more likely to get a female one and vice versa.

Sorry. But no.

First of all, this is ridiculous. There is no secretive predictive algorithm that's silently waiting to screw with your breeding plans. Think logically about this for a moment. Thousands of foals are born on any given server on any given day. The game has zero way of knowing what gender of foal you're hoping for, nor does it actively track your breeding habits. And since different players adopt different breeding habits, any sort of predictive system would have to be functioning independently for each and every one... And again, that simply isn't logical. You're giving the game a lot of credit it doesn't deserve.

Each time you breed your horse, you have a 50/50 chance of getting a colt or a filly. That goes for each and every breeding. The statistical likelihood resets each time. It doesn't matter if your last four breedings resulted in fillies, the fifth breeding is still 50/50 as is each consecutive one. You can get a string of all colts and it isn't unusual. It doesn't disprove the statistical averages and it doesn't mean the game is trying to cheat you.

What does it mean? It means you're paranoid. And also bad at math.

Hope your parents aren't paying for that

Soooo... You want an expensive art tablet so you can trace your shitty 3D renders more efficiently?

Bitch please.

Critique Etiquette

Yup. It's another Black Pearl bitch fest. I can't help it, there's always so much bullshit to wade through in those threads.

We're going to talk about Critiques and etiquette. This has always been one of those tricky topics that can quickly turn ugly. Generally, people are pretty good about critiques. They'll ask for some opinions on their latest work and, generally, they do care about what others have to say. The same goes for those critiquing. Usually, everyone is helpful and fair.

Usually. Usually... 

But you've always got some complete morons who just like to hear themselves talk. 

If you're asking for critiques

Don't ask for critiques if you're just going to brush them all off.

Take into consideration what others have to say, especially if they've taken the time to provide references that may help you.

Answering every critique with "It's supposed to be like that" or "it's too late to fix that" is lazy, rude and inconsiderate.

If you're going to say that your work is correct when compared to your reference - then show it! So many artists (using that term reaaaal loosely, folks) have lately been referring to these mystery references that they're unwilling to show. What are you hiding, bro? It makes you look very untrustworthy.

On a related note, understand that even if you think something is correct and even if your reference is showing it to be more-or-less accurate, it may still be wrong. Or it may just be aesthetically displeasing. The best artists get this and work to overcome it.

If you ask for critiques and then choose to ignore them, don't be surprised when people stop answering. Don't play the victim. No one is ignoring you. We're all just tired of your bullshit.

If the same critiques keep coming up it probably means it's something you need to work extra hard at. A big part of improving in knowing your weaknesses and working to overcome them.

If you're critiquing

Be nice. Shouldn't even have to say this.

If you see a problem, especially with anatomy, try to find a reference that you think exemplifies what the artist should be aiming for. This is usually more helpful than saying something like "the hocks look weird."

If someone posts a work-in-progress, don't be stupid and tell them the horse's eyes aren't finished, or that it's hooves are missing. No shit, Sherlock.

Try to leave personal preferences out of it. We've all got things we like to see on coats. Maybe you like big manes. Or lots of accessories. These things aren't really critique worthy. It's one thing to suggest the artist add some embellishments, it's another to expect them to bedeck their horse out in gem-studded armor.

If an artist isn't receptive to your critique, don't press it. At the end of the day, they're responsible for the quality their own work. Your critique may be fair and accurate but it isn't worth turning it into a debate.

Bad Advice

The amount of bad advice I see on the Howrse forums is astounding, and always from the same core group of active posters.

Really guys, you're idiots. If you spent more time playing and less time attempting to increase your post counts maybe you'd actually understand how the game works. Just saying.

Heathens

So, the rumor mill is churning and it seems Howrse is finally preparing a set of Zodiac divines. Twelve horses, one for each sign, with the now defunct sign Ophiuchus being granted to those who complete the set.

All in all, it's safe to say this divine set will be met with approval. It's been something the community has been asking for for quite some time now.

Except, there already seems to be a problem...

It hasn't been 24 hours since whisper of this got out, and there's already crotchety bigots complaining about the inappropriateness of teaching the Zodiac to children. Occult references and all that.

And I'm just sitting there thinking how much some players need to get laid. Maybe take a Xanax, have some wine. Move along into the 21st century. Something. Anything.

Or you know.. There's always this.

Maybe You're the Problem

If you need to end all your posts apologizing for your "bluntness" or "rudeness" and explaining that it wasn't intentional, maybe you should stop being such a tactless bitch.

Just a thought. Didn't mean to sound rude or anything.

Don't Let it Go to Your Head

I've seen a lot of second rate artists offering free line-art directly on Howrse now.

Don't get me wrong, this is a generous thing to do and a lot of the art isn't half bad (it isn't great either) but that's not what gets me. What I dislike is how high-and-mighty and nitpicky these people are right off the bat.

I offer stock photos myself. I get it.

If you've got a list of a dozen things people are not allowed to do you're probably not going to like seeing what people create with your lines. Serious stock providers and artists offering line-art do not get into it to sit there and micromanage each and every piece resulting from their original work. You're going to give yourself an aneurysm doing that. Knock it off.

Also, pro tip. Your art isn't that great anyway. Why do you think people are so quick to edit it? Just saying.

How Not to Name a Divine

The upcoming Rainbow Divines are pretty cool, aren't they?

But you know what isn't cool? The names some players are suggesting for them. Ugh. This perfectly illustrates the reason Howrse rarely accepts user submissions.

While we're on the topic of bad names, I want to offer my own.

Red: Lesion
Orange: Salmon
Yellow: Urine
Green: Phlegm
Blue: Asphyxia
Purple: Bruise

Like them? Got any others?

Isis ≠ ISIS

Howrse released a new Divine today. Isis was created by the players who attended the World Equestrian Games with the Howrse team in 2014.

She's the counterpart to Osiris, a Divine horse released in October of 2013. She's based on the Egyptian goddess of the same name. Isis was a powerful matron associated with fertility and magic.

And, according to some Howrse players, she's also an Islamic terrorist out to corrupt our youth.

Way to go Howrse community. Your bigotry and ignorance has yet again surprised me.

You're not fooling anyone, Isis. Terrorist scum!

Because You Fail at Statistics

Can we talk about the word "random"?

Random, according to Dictionary.com, is defined as follows

adjective

1. proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern:

the random selection of numbers.

2. Statistics. of or characterizing a process of selection in which each item of a set has an equal probability of being chosen.

Got that?

That is why it pisses me off so damn much when Howrse players say many game operations are random. For example?

The color of a horses's coat is not random. The odds are clearly given on each breed's respective page! NOT RANDOM.

Finding an Ageing Point upon waking a horse? NOT RANDOM. The chance is 1 in 6. I calculated this. You're welcome.

Finding a Divine in a Horn of Plenty or Titan's Challenge during a promotion. Again, NOT RANDOM. While the odds are never given, the chance is absolutely 100% not random.

There are predefined parameters the game uses to control these things. Just because you do not know the odds does not mean they are random. Very few things on Howrse are truly random.

STOP SIGNING YOUR POSTS

Why the hell do some people feel the need to sign their posts? Are they afraid we might not know who is posting? Like they haven't noticed their names are automatically displayed?

Furthermore, are they so proud of their post that they feel the need to sign it, as if they've just toiled over a literary masterpiece that is undoubtedly on track to become a classic?

For real though. WHY? POR QUÉ?!

Inhabitants of the Creative Space

The Creative Space is often a dark place. Let's explore the cliques, shall we?

The understated – These artists tend to be quite talented, but their mild (and often agreeable) personalities fail to bring them much praise. Regardless, for what they lack in fanfare they more than make up for in ability. Their quiet confidence speaks volumes to their talent and maturity.

The complainer – You know them. They've always got something to whine about and it's almost almost always something that everyone else is also dealing this – thus making it a none issue. Let it be known that some of these bitchers are quite talented. However, when half your posts are complaining about the Creation Space terms of use or how much of a travesty it is that your coat didn't make it in last month the quality of your work kind of diminishes.

The unnecessary critiquer – “Hey, ummm... You're going to draw the eye, right?” Nope. I was obviously going to just leave that part out.

The off-topicer – “Hey guys, want to see the wolf/dragon/cat/original character I drew?” No. We don't. Extra points if these off-topic exploits are angst-ridden and/or point you to an off-site art gallery.

The WIP hoarder - “Hey, you know that coat you all told me you liked? I scrapped it. Check out this Gypsy Vanner I'm doing now! And this pony! I might try drawing the horse I lease too!”

The over-sharer – We get it. You're working on a new coat but please understand you do not need to update us with every single brush stroke you do.

The enforcer – These guys travel in packs and hunt for any uncredited reference or lineart they can find. Hey, I get it, respecting copyright and intellectual property is a big deal, but we don't need to converge en masse or jump to nasty conclusions when a civil discussion will suffice. If there's a problem, escalate it to the moderator and stop throwing your imagined weight around.

The advertiser – This artist only shows up when the voting period is open. They're just here to garner votes and clog up the forum. Extra points if they post on every page and across multiple servers.

The embellisher – They drew a decent coat once. They've now submitted it in over ten different colors.

Thoughts? Did I miss anyone?

You're not fooling anyone

If you feel the need to +1 all your forum posts they're probably not as helpful as you think. Just saying.

Don't think we don't all notice.

Stereotypes Are FUN!

I've noticed on Howrse that 8 main types of posters show up to answer a Game Play question thread. Let us examine them.

1. The No-Nonsenser. This specimen is generally easy to classify. Their answers tend to be short and to the point and are generally adequate and further answering is unnecessary.
   
2. The Reiterater. This specimen builds upon the No-Nonsenser, generally adding superfulous information for the sake of looking more informative. The Reiterater tends to travel in packs.
   
3. The Budding Mod. Much like the Reiterater, The Budding Mod will over answer a question by adding any bit of information they deem relevant to the topic at hand whether or not it is helpful. This specimen differs from the Reiterater in that they can generally be found in most any open thread, whereas the Reiterater tends to be less organized.
   
4. The Party Crasher. This specimen has a question, a really important question. They could just make their own thread, and chances are they already did, but they're going to post in the topic with the most recent activity anyway. Why? The Party Crasher likes to make sure all their bases are covered.
   
5. The Late to the Party. Hey guys, nice thread you've got here... Mind if I join you? Guys? Guys...?
   
6. The Necromancer. You thought this thread was dead and gone? You were wrong. The Necromancer is not bound by the same constraints that we mere mortals struggle to overcome. They bravely venture into the darkness that is the second page and return, like a grave-robber in the night, with their prize: a rather dusty and most likely completely irrelevant thread from days long past.
   
7. Clueless and Proud. This specimen doesn't know the answer to your question. Furthermore, they're not even sure what you're talking about. Nonetheless, they'd like to inform you of their inadequacy.
8. The Carebear. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Stop being so mean! The Carebear is determined to protect the feelings of others no matter the situation. Misplaced thread? Offsite advertising? Rant? It doesn't matter, the Carebear knows it was only a mistake and you won't do it again. It happens to everyone. The Carebear understands.