The game isn't conspiring against you

Guys, let's talk about basic statistics. I've seen so much nonsense lately that I think this should be addressed.

A little bit of background. I've recently seen claims that Howrse utilizes a predictive algorithm for the purpose of screwing people over. The example given was that when you're trying to breed a male foal you're more likely to get a female one and vice versa.

Sorry. But no.

First of all, this is ridiculous. There is no secretive predictive algorithm that's silently waiting to screw with your breeding plans. Think logically about this for a moment. Thousands of foals are born on any given server on any given day. The game has zero way of knowing what gender of foal you're hoping for, nor does it actively track your breeding habits. And since different players adopt different breeding habits, any sort of predictive system would have to be functioning independently for each and every one... And again, that simply isn't logical. You're giving the game a lot of credit it doesn't deserve.

Each time you breed your horse, you have a 50/50 chance of getting a colt or a filly. That goes for each and every breeding. The statistical likelihood resets each time. It doesn't matter if your last four breedings resulted in fillies, the fifth breeding is still 50/50 as is each consecutive one. You can get a string of all colts and it isn't unusual. It doesn't disprove the statistical averages and it doesn't mean the game is trying to cheat you.

What does it mean? It means you're paranoid. And also bad at math.

And this is why Howrse doesn't take a strong stance again plagiarism.

The new Wanderers are shit.

At least they had the decency to edit the fennec fox somewhat, but if you look closely you'll see the macaw actually has the same brown discoloration on the underside of the wing that the original photo shows.

I'm sure the rest of the shoddy animals from the other Wanderers are also edits to some degree. The kangaroo and gibbon look particularly suspect and I did manage to find the artic wolf image as well, though that one has at least been slightly altered. I didn't spend too much time on this. The images shown as all easily found on Google images - you don't even have to scroll too far down (and I'm sure the divine "artist" didn't either).

Stay classy, Howrse!

Boarding

Not gonna lie,

If I'm boarding with you, chances are I'm just there to score some free tack and to eat your mash.

Sorry, not sorry.

Teams, Teammates and Stealing GP

So, a few days ago someone (who will remain nameless but they're trash anyway and honestly you wouldn't care even if I were to name them) messaged one of my breeding partners to ask if they'd like to work a certain breed with her. A breed my partner and I are actively working and have been doing together for quite some time.

I'll never understand why some players think this is a good idea.

Let's discuss this. Rationally.

For some reason, you think you should attempt to weasel your way into snatching someone else's hard work by encouraging them to backstab someone they, by all accounts, seem to be working successfully with?

And you expect to instill confidence in this person that you are somehow to be trusted? Because honey, coming in and saying "Hey, let's jack these horses and make our own team!" is not a terribly convincing argument.

Not to mention, cheaters beget cheaters. If you are fine with cheating and stealing, and look for others who are also fine with cheating and stealing, what do you think there is to stop someone from backstabbing you later? Nothing at all.

You earn your reputation in this game. Don't forget that.

Let's Talk Affixes

Affixes. We've all got them. Some communicate a sense of grandeur. Some are silly. Some are pop-culture references we slyly slip into game to express our off-site interests. Some are with us from the beginning, while some are nothing more than placeholders.

All in all, affixes are pretty personal. They say a lot about our horses, breeding projects and even about ourselves as players. Which is why it's so frustrating to see lame affixes. So let's talk about this, shall we?


1. Why are you using your username as an affix?

For real. This is stupid. There's this awesome field in your horses' information tab marked Producer. This handy tool tells everyone who bred the horse. You don't need to put this information into your affix. Anyone who cares will already know to check out who the producer was if this information is somehow pertinent to their interests.

2. Numbers in your affix? Whhhy?

Sorry, but if the affix "Arabian" is taken, "Arabian1" is hardly a worthy substitute. You can do better than that. It looks ugly and it communicates nothing aside from your laziness and lack of imagination.

3. Please stop insisting your horse is great or awesome or top quality.

You probably think very highly of your horses but "High Quality Quarters" or "First Place Flyers" sounds ridiculous. What's more, it looks silly on a low-quality horse. Even if your horse were to be top ranked, it would still be a goofy affix. A horse's quality speaks for itself. If you need your affix to tell me how great your horse is then it probably isn't.

4. What does that even say???

ɟคгՇ๒ɭ■ꙅꙅ■๓ꙅ

Seriously. Don't do this.

5. There are some things better left unsaid.

All things being equal, I'd rather buy a horse with a nice non-committal affix. I'd just rather have Ponykins of "Meadow Lark Estates" than Ponykins of "MEAT IS MURDER", or Ponykins of "JESUS LOVES YOU".

Even if I agree with your sentiments, there's a certain amount of tact that one should exercise when choosing an affix. You risk looking very juvenile if you bring your propaganda into the game. Not to mention, you could be violating the terms of service depending on the affix subject and content.

Hope your parents aren't paying for that

Soooo... You want an expensive art tablet so you can trace your shitty 3D renders more efficiently?

Bitch please.

Critique Etiquette

Yup. It's another Black Pearl bitch fest. I can't help it, there's always so much bullshit to wade through in those threads.

We're going to talk about Critiques and etiquette. This has always been one of those tricky topics that can quickly turn ugly. Generally, people are pretty good about critiques. They'll ask for some opinions on their latest work and, generally, they do care about what others have to say. The same goes for those critiquing. Usually, everyone is helpful and fair.

Usually. Usually... 

But you've always got some complete morons who just like to hear themselves talk. 

If you're asking for critiques

Don't ask for critiques if you're just going to brush them all off.

Take into consideration what others have to say, especially if they've taken the time to provide references that may help you.

Answering every critique with "It's supposed to be like that" or "it's too late to fix that" is lazy, rude and inconsiderate.

If you're going to say that your work is correct when compared to your reference - then show it! So many artists (using that term reaaaal loosely, folks) have lately been referring to these mystery references that they're unwilling to show. What are you hiding, bro? It makes you look very untrustworthy.

On a related note, understand that even if you think something is correct and even if your reference is showing it to be more-or-less accurate, it may still be wrong. Or it may just be aesthetically displeasing. The best artists get this and work to overcome it.

If you ask for critiques and then choose to ignore them, don't be surprised when people stop answering. Don't play the victim. No one is ignoring you. We're all just tired of your bullshit.

If the same critiques keep coming up it probably means it's something you need to work extra hard at. A big part of improving in knowing your weaknesses and working to overcome them.

If you're critiquing

Be nice. Shouldn't even have to say this.

If you see a problem, especially with anatomy, try to find a reference that you think exemplifies what the artist should be aiming for. This is usually more helpful than saying something like "the hocks look weird."

If someone posts a work-in-progress, don't be stupid and tell them the horse's eyes aren't finished, or that it's hooves are missing. No shit, Sherlock.

Try to leave personal preferences out of it. We've all got things we like to see on coats. Maybe you like big manes. Or lots of accessories. These things aren't really critique worthy. It's one thing to suggest the artist add some embellishments, it's another to expect them to bedeck their horse out in gem-studded armor.

If an artist isn't receptive to your critique, don't press it. At the end of the day, they're responsible for the quality their own work. Your critique may be fair and accurate but it isn't worth turning it into a debate.

Things Howrse has Taught Me

Foals don't poop.

Training aids make all the difference.

Unicorns are real. They are just very finicky breeders.

Crossbred horses are pretty much trash.

Under the correct circumstances, horses can poop gold.

It's Your Problem Now

That moment when someone buys a horse you've had sitting in sales for weeks and attempts to sell it for a higher price.

Have at it, sweetheart!

After all this time, you still suck

So, if it isn't obvious by now, I'm pretty active in the art side of Howrse. I do a lot of art. I offer helpful critiques where I can. I redline. I try to be helpful and positive since I firmly believe that art should be inclusive and beginners should be encouraged and supported.

But I will make it very very clear - I hate cheaters. And even more than cheaters, I hate serial cheaters. People who continue to cheat and lie after being called out on it many times? They're scum.

Which is why I take serious pleasure in seeing just how much some players, who will remain nameless (I hope you're reading this) suck. Despite all your stolen art, your photo edits, your traced images, and your completely illegitimate use of the Horse Pose Tool app (you think we can't tell?), you still suck more than a high-end vacuum cleaner.

Your work is artless, as most traced images are. Your color palettes are absolutely terrible despite all the kind suggestions you're received on improving them. We all know you're trying to trace photos you're taken yourself - which is why you seemed to magically improve overnight but won't show references and claim you didn't use any (we're not stupid). And now you're using a pose tool for tracing. Again, we can tell. Many artists use the same app for inspiration and help with tricky poses. However, pose tool models are not meant to be traced. They're basic 3D models - they're not terribly correct in terms of anatomy, but I doubt you care. If possible, these look even worse than your previous attempts. They're bad. You're bad. 

I'd support you if you actually tried. If you put in the hours and effort it takes to become a better artist. But you cheat time and time again. You have no coats in the game. Your work sucks as much today as it did when you first started posting it. And you've been at it for a while now.

You're the worst. And I love seeing you fail time and time again.

Bad Advice

The amount of bad advice I see on the Howrse forums is astounding, and always from the same core group of active posters.

Really guys, you're idiots. If you spent more time playing and less time attempting to increase your post counts maybe you'd actually understand how the game works. Just saying.

Svadilfari

I just want to remind everyone that Svadilfari is the horse that fucked Loki.

You're welcome.

Heathens

So, the rumor mill is churning and it seems Howrse is finally preparing a set of Zodiac divines. Twelve horses, one for each sign, with the now defunct sign Ophiuchus being granted to those who complete the set.

All in all, it's safe to say this divine set will be met with approval. It's been something the community has been asking for for quite some time now.

Except, there already seems to be a problem...

It hasn't been 24 hours since whisper of this got out, and there's already crotchety bigots complaining about the inappropriateness of teaching the Zodiac to children. Occult references and all that.

And I'm just sitting there thinking how much some players need to get laid. Maybe take a Xanax, have some wine. Move along into the 21st century. Something. Anything.

Or you know.. There's always this.

Dorky Confession...

Crossbred Purebreed Spanish Horses seriously amuse me. I know it's stupid, but I can't help but internally giggle when I see them.

It's so stupid.

Got Drama?

Ever notice how the people who talk the most about wanting to play a drama free game are usually the ones most prone to irrational behavior and childish outbursts?

When I see someone with a rant on their presentation about how they don't want to get involved in drama, I quickly make a mental note to have no future dealings with them if I can help it. Because those people are always the craziest, most egotistical hypocrites out there.

Rest well, friend

That feel when one of your fillers dies of old age.