Horse Haven

Rupunzel, lay off the drugs. Spirit is Dreamworks, not Disney.

Sales Peeves

I have a lot of Howrse related pet peeves. Unsurprisingly, many are related to the sales. Let's talk about a few of them.

1. Overweight or underweight horses in sales

For real. This game is disgustingly easy. You are told exactly how much to feed your horse and you still cannot manage it? I shudder to think how incompetent you are.

2. Names suggesting the horse will be "abandoned", "killed", "slaughtered" or left to "rot" in the Safe Haven.

Safe Haven. Hm. Let's take a look at those words.

Safe
adjective
1. secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk

Haven
noun
2. a harbor or port
1. any place of shelter and safety; refuge; asylum.

Yup. Sure sounds like a dismal place. Poor horses.

Not only are names like this against the rules, they're also stupid - which makes you stupid for using them.

3. Low level geldings.

Why are you even bothering? You've got nothing worth protecting and no one is going to bother to skill this crap.

4. Foals with no attempt made at their foal games.

There's a reason your horses all suck. It's because you're lazy.

5. Asking passes for foals with GP below what is available from public studs. Extra loser points if they also have an unblupped mother.

Cute, but no thanks.

6. Botched skillers whose owners are trying to recoup their investment.

It's not my fault you can't manage to properly skill a horse. Don't go asking standard market value for a horse you stupidly tried to skill on 42e lessons.

7. Exorbitant prices for crappy BMIs.

I don't care if you horse has a Poseidon Pack - it's still low skilled, unblupped and ultimately worthless.

Don't Let it Go to Your Head

I've seen a lot of second rate artists offering free line-art directly on Howrse now.

Don't get me wrong, this is a generous thing to do and a lot of the art isn't half bad (it isn't great either) but that's not what gets me. What I dislike is how high-and-mighty and nitpicky these people are right off the bat.

I offer stock photos myself. I get it.

If you've got a list of a dozen things people are not allowed to do you're probably not going to like seeing what people create with your lines. Serious stock providers and artists offering line-art do not get into it to sit there and micromanage each and every piece resulting from their original work. You're going to give yourself an aneurysm doing that. Knock it off.

Also, pro tip. Your art isn't that great anyway. Why do you think people are so quick to edit it? Just saying.

Ugh, my eyes!

Every time you format your presentation like this

God kills a puppy.

PLEASE THINK OF THE PUPPIES

Filling Etiquette and Expectations

I've talked about unspoken etiquette rules in the past. Today I'd like to discuss some of the finer points of filling. 

Filling a competition, as you all know, is when lower skilled horses are entered alongside a horse you are actively trying to BLUP. These fillers close the race out and get you your wins more quickly. Fillers also lessen the likelihood that your horse will lose to another, more skilled, entrant. To completely fill a competition you'll need the help of friends/teammates, or access to other accounts via Account Sharing. 

Many players agree that it is poor etiquette to enter a competition that another player is actively filling. By actively filling, I mean that the player is fully closing out the competitions in a timely manner. Jumping in with a better horse when the competition is awaiting one last entrant is frowned upon.

Of course, Howrse itself has no rules to govern this. Technically, you may piggyback off of fillers belonging to another player. Nothing can stop you. It is a dirt-bag thing to do but that's your choice to make. Just don't be surprised when you find yourself getting smashed in the future.

Just remember that etiquette always goes both ways. Too often I see players get their panties in a bunch and claiming someone is "stomping" them or "hijacking" their fills even though they are not making the effort to fully close their competitions.

You cannot leave a competition sitting at 3/5 or 4/5 and expect someone else to finish filling it for you. Complaining when someone beats you in this instance is hypocritical because, of course, you wouldn't get mad at a player who entered your partially filled competition and lost. If a competition has been sitting open for a while it's absolutely fair game.

Don't hijack competitions that are in the process of closing, but don't expect others to do your work for you. 

How Not to Name a Divine

The upcoming Rainbow Divines are pretty cool, aren't they?

But you know what isn't cool? The names some players are suggesting for them. Ugh. This perfectly illustrates the reason Howrse rarely accepts user submissions.

While we're on the topic of bad names, I want to offer my own.

Red: Lesion
Orange: Salmon
Yellow: Urine
Green: Phlegm
Blue: Asphyxia
Purple: Bruise

Like them? Got any others?

Isis ≠ ISIS

Howrse released a new Divine today. Isis was created by the players who attended the World Equestrian Games with the Howrse team in 2014.

She's the counterpart to Osiris, a Divine horse released in October of 2013. She's based on the Egyptian goddess of the same name. Isis was a powerful matron associated with fertility and magic.

And, according to some Howrse players, she's also an Islamic terrorist out to corrupt our youth.

Way to go Howrse community. Your bigotry and ignorance has yet again surprised me.

You're not fooling anyone, Isis. Terrorist scum!

Because You Fail at Statistics

Can we talk about the word "random"?

Random, according to Dictionary.com, is defined as follows

adjective

1. proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern:

the random selection of numbers.

2. Statistics. of or characterizing a process of selection in which each item of a set has an equal probability of being chosen.

Got that?

That is why it pisses me off so damn much when Howrse players say many game operations are random. For example?

The color of a horses's coat is not random. The odds are clearly given on each breed's respective page! NOT RANDOM.

Finding an Ageing Point upon waking a horse? NOT RANDOM. The chance is 1 in 6. I calculated this. You're welcome.

Finding a Divine in a Horn of Plenty or Titan's Challenge during a promotion. Again, NOT RANDOM. While the odds are never given, the chance is absolutely 100% not random.

There are predefined parameters the game uses to control these things. Just because you do not know the odds does not mean they are random. Very few things on Howrse are truly random.

Keep Your Panties On, Girls

So, my brother plays this game. He's fourteen.

He's not a super serious elite player but he's pretty good. He likes collecting trophies and breeding competitive crosses. He's not a daily player but he's on fairly often. He got interested in the game from watching me play.

I know of other young males that are playing and I seriously think that's awesome but there is one thing that bothers me... The amount of weird, unprovoked private messages he gets from little girls. He and I have a good laugh over them before he generally blocks the sender. But, for real, it's creepy.

What the hell, kids? Stop objectifying boys on Howrse.

STOP SIGNING YOUR POSTS

Why the hell do some people feel the need to sign their posts? Are they afraid we might not know who is posting? Like they haven't noticed their names are automatically displayed?

Furthermore, are they so proud of their post that they feel the need to sign it, as if they've just toiled over a literary masterpiece that is undoubtedly on track to become a classic?

For real though. WHY? POR QUÉ?!

Habits of Successful Players

I'm sure you've seen it. Players who complain that the only way to be successful is to buy your way to the top.

I will not deny that those who have access to Passes are at an advantage but there are numerous things that factor into whether or not someone is a successful player. Passes are only part of it and, arguably, they're a very small part.

So, what makes a player successful?

Willingness to learn

We all come into this game knowing next to nothing. Whether or not you're willing to take the time to learn the basics is a huge determining factor in how far you'll ultimate go.

There's a lot to learn and it can be daunting. Blupping, foal games, proper feeding requirements, how to make Equus, how to manage an equestrian center. Take it slow. Read the game guide. Do the tutorial. Ask meaningful questions.

Learn to play properly and you'll see immediate results. You'll have healthy horses who are at the top of their game, a working equestrian center to use while blupping, and plenty of Equus to spend as you see fit.

Work ethic

Got horses to blup? Pastures to shuffle in your equestrian center? Aging Points to gather? Do it.

Successful players work hard. Some players have friends to help them manage their game but ultimately whether or not something gets done is up to the account owner.

You can't have it all unless you're willing to work for it.

Time management

Tackle the important stuff first. If your team needs you to work a horse you should probably do that before farming your Aging Points or hitting up the forums for a posting binge.

It's up to you, but you must weigh your responsibilities and goals. Do those which are most important first.

Ability to budget

This is a big one.

I see so many players throw fits when promotions roll around by complaining that they can't afford anything. Here's the thing though – if you saved your Passes and Black Market Items and used them only during promotions you could afford to take part.

Save your Passes. Save your Horns of Plenty. Save your Titan's Challenges. Use your weekly trades to acquire items you know you'll need in the future. Show some restraint.

Successful players play smart and so should you.

Following the rules

This sounds silly, right? But hear me out. Howrse is a community based game. You cannot get far if you're unwilling to abide by the rules.

What do I mean by this?

The way I see it, there are two sets of rules in the game – the mandatory terms of service and the community determined rules of etiquette and engagement. Let's discuss the second set.

No one likes a cheater. No one likes a beggar. No one likes a player who lies to get ahead. Rule of thumb? Do to others as you would have them do to you. If it would piss you off, don't do it to someone else.

Don't be surprised when your bad behavior comes back to bite you in the ass. It isn't worth blowing your reputation for a quick boost of instant gratification.

What do you think? Did I miss any important points? What do you think struggling players could stand to improve upon?

Huh?

When I get a private message and I have no idea what the sender is talking about...